Carol’s Comments

Lessons for Life: Change or die

Lessons for Life

By Carol Buckley Frazier

Today is the inaugural issue for this new column about integrated wellness: body, soul and spirit. Carol will be bringing us simple information about different aspects of health and encouragement to live the best life possible.

Change or die. I’m serious, there’s no alternative. At a cellular level, you’re changing all the time: cells die and they reproduce, with no awareness on our part. In much the same way, the world keeps turning, although so slowly we can’t perceive it and we can’t control it. Change happens and we either go with the flow or we’re out of here.

But what about the changes we can control, the how we think, how we feel, what we say and do changes? The ones that either bring life or death to our relationships, our physical health, our workplace? These are the really tough changes. They involve energy, persistence, patience, will power, in fact everything our culture is the antithesis of. This is America – the land of convenience, immediate gratification, plastic surgery, Prozac, “lose 10 pounds in 10 days”, instant celebrity. It’s easy to get lulled into laziness, an attitude that derails our health, sabotages our marriages and other relationships, and puts our careers and goals on the slow boat to China

Attitude. Mindset. Thoughts. This is where change is born or buried.

Only we are responsible for our lives and the thoughts that create them. Trying to change other people is exhausting and usually fruitless. Why not shift our energy to higher purposes? Like creating a life worth living.

New insights from the blending of psychology and neurosciences show that by choosing the thoughts we hang on to and the ones we let go of, we can establish permanent new thought patterns, transforming our lives from the inside-out: emotionally, spiritually and physically. Through the power of intention, or mindfulness, the glass half-empty can become a glass half-full.

Habitual thought patterns are like the tire tracks in a muddy road. The mind naturally slips into them and it takes a lot of effort to steer one’s mental energy into a different route. The payoff is a new framework from which we see ourselves and the world. We can choose to speak life to ourselves and to others, and to act in ways that bring renewed vitality and joy into our own lives and the world around us.

So what’s the first step? Easy. Just make a decision. Decide to live intentionally and not haphazardly. What kind of person do you want to be, what characteristics or virtues to you admire? Write it down; refocus your mind on being that type of person. Visualize the changes you want to make, “see” yourself walking it out and keep that picture before you every day. Commit to act and speak in ways that confirm your intention.

Next step? Well, that’s the hard part.. You will have to practice those changes daily. Yes, you will struggle against the tide of culture. But just as your muscles can’t get any stronger without the stress of resistance, your will power won’t get any stronger unless you exercise it! Instead of “I won’t, I can’t”, follow this pattern: Will→Action→Results. “I will make better choices in what I eat”, “I will make time for exercise this week”, I will be a better friend, a more loving spouse, a more effective employee, a more compelling leader.”

We’ll continue looking at the transformation process more next issue. This begins a new day for me, my first column In One Paper. I’m ready for change, and if you’re reading this I’ll bet you are too. Maybe together, we can create a great day and a better world!

Carol Buckley Frazier is the founder and director of LifeCues™, Simple Strategies for Vibrant Health. She is an NSCA Certified Personal Trainer, Integrated Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker and leads workshops and retreats. You can reach her at carolfrazier@comcast.net or www.carolbuckleyfrazier.com